


I'm Still Your Son

by Then_Theres_You



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-05 16:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4187217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Then_Theres_You/pseuds/Then_Theres_You
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When his father continues to ignore Connor's sexuality, an argument ensues. Will their attempt to work things out be successful?</p><p>*This is a repost after I accidentally deleted the work off the site, I don't know how to get it back.*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!
> 
> The content of this fic is the same as my original post. I'm very disappointed to say my work was deleted somehow (no clue how I did it) and I don't know how to get it back, meaning I've lost everyone's comments, but thanks to everyone who commented on the original post.

Connor had been sitting at his desk for the best part of an hour, trying to finish some stupid essay he'd been assigned for English. In all honestly, he couldn't care less about whether Jay Gatsby had changed his name, or how much he loved Daisy. He was, in Connor's opinion, an obsessed stalker in love with a ditsy girl who cried over shirts. Not to mention Nick. Nick was an idiot according to Connor. Yet here he was, trying to focus on an essay he didn't want to write about a book he didn't like. 

His attempts to focus were made more difficult by his father. Adam Stevens had been relentless in his attempts to brush over what Connor had told him in the hospital. His son was gay. Done, dusted, and forgotten about. It didn't happen if they never spoke about it. But the thing is, Connor needed to speak about it. More than anything he wanted he wanted to clear things up. He finally had a name for what he was feeling. 'Gay'. It fit. 'Gay' didn't feel like he was wearing something that was three sizes too small. 

Connor had been staring at the wall passed his laptop screen for about ten minutes, lost in thought, curser blinking on the screen, long forgotten. He'd been trying to figure out a way to talk to his dad. It had been long enough and he needed to address it.

He was snapped out of his trance by the smell of food rising through the floorboards. Adam was cooking dinner downstairs and feeling obliged to help, Connor grabbed his crutches and hobbled out of his room and to the kitchen down stairs.

"Dinner'll be ready in a minute, it's that pasta you like," Adam acknowledged his son from the stove.

"Sounds good," he pause, "hey Dad? Could I talk to you for a sec?"

"You should probably wash your hands, this is about ready to go." 

"Yeah, in a sec, but um, Dad?" Connor asked tentatively.

"Careful though," he cut over his son again, "the hot tap's acting up again, so don't turn it up too high."

Connor sighed, "right," and took himself over to the sink, not fancying hobbling upstairs again on crutches to the bathroom.

Adam dished up and carried the plates over to the kitchen table. Connor followed, taking his usual seat across from his father.

"How was practice today huh?" Adam asked, searching for something to say.

"It was okay." Connor started pushing the pasta around on his plate.

"How's that new kid? Damien. Last game I saw he was pretty bad."

"He does alright."

"That kid really needs to up his game. He'll bring the team down if doesn't get up to scratch."

"I guess," he mumbled.

Conversation at the dinner table didn't much exceed that of 'the game' or 'the office' these days, nor did it particularly last more than fifteen minutes. In fact, it wasn't completely uncommon for meal times to pass without either of them uttering a single word to one another past a quick thank you for whomever brought the plates to the table. It was no surprise then that today's dinner, once the day's baseball practice had been discussed, that the two ate their food in silence. 

As Adam cleared the plates, his empty, Connor's barely touched. Connor remained at the table. 

"Dad," he said eventually. "Can I talk to you?"

Adam cricked his neck as he stood at the sink. "Have you done all you're homework?"

"Yeah, but I actually wanted to talk to you about -"

"All of it? You've done you Biology?"

"Dad, can you -" 

"And that essay for English, what was it on? The Great Gatsby? Never like that book myself. How are you finding it?" 

"Dad, please!" Connor pushed himself up from the table. "Just listen to me! Can we just talk about something real, for once."

"What's there to talk about Connor? You're gay. That's that. It's okay."

"I know it's okay, it's just -" Connor paused.

"It's just what, Connor?" 

He rubbed the back of his neck, "you treat at me different," he admitted, quietly.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know, you look at me weird. You're quieter around me," to list but a few that came to mind.

"I do not look at you any different than I ever did," Adam raised his voice.

"Yes you do! It's like you don't even know how to be around me anymore. I'm still the same kid, alright?" He threw his arms up, wobbling slightly after forgetting why he was holding on to the table in the first place. "I still play baseball and soccer! I'm still good at math, I still like video games and I still leave my skateboards all over the house! I'm the same kid, Dad. I'm still your son." He spoke quickly, everything finally boiling over.

Adam stared at Connor for a moment. "Of course you're still my son."

"I'm still your son." He repeated, starting to sob. 

"Of course!" 

"Then why don't you accept me?" Connor asked, stray tears spilling down his cheeks.

"I do accept you."

Connor shook his head and looked away for a moment, "you won't even acknowledge it. You've hardly spoken about it since the hospital! Since you lied to Jude."

Adam lowered himself to look his son directly in the eye and gripped both of his shoulders.  
"I accept you," he assured "and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like - if I've been treating you differently."

He backed away from Connor, "I'm trying to understand this - you and Jude. You need to understand that when I was at school, being gay was something to be laughed at." Adam thought for a moment, "but now I'm in a place where that needs to change and I'm learning, son."

Connor wiped his face with his sleeve and, trying to catch his breath, nodded.

"Look," he began, "why don't you invite Jude over for dinner. I can get to know him a little better."


	2. Chapter 2

Jude sat on his bed, several books open in front of him, pen held in his teeth as he bounced between them. Like Connor, he too had been struggling to focus, what with Brandon's piano in the next room, and Mariana arguing with Jesus on the phone about some lost headphones. In all honesty, he envied his siblings. They'd all finished their homework, leaving Jude alone in his room on a Friday evening, still studying as he had been since he got home.

He sighed, unable to find the passage he'd been wanting, and moved onto the next book. Back to the contents page, he scanned the page with his finger, looking up the chapter he needed. When the maths book, long abandoned beside him, began to vibrate, he gave it an odd look before it dawned on him. His phone was buried beneath it. As he pushed the book aside, he saw Connor's name appear on the screen. 

'Mind if I come over?' the message read.

Jude grinned to himself. 'Sure.'

'Great,' the phone buzzed almost instantly with Connor's reply, 'mind letting me in?'

Jude dropped his phone on the mattress and hopped off the bed, racing down the stairs to answer the door.

"Hey," he beamed upon opening the door.

'Hey," Connor replied.

Jude's smile faded a little when he saw the look on his boyfriend's face, "You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," he said, stepping into the house. "Just a rough dinner with my dad is all. I wanted to see you."

"What happened?" Jude draped his arm carefully around Connor's shoulder and lead him into the living room, so they could sit down and talk.

"I just got so sick of it, y'know? He would talk to me about what had happened at the hospital and he's been treating me so differently. He just wouldn't listen. I finally managed to confront him," he began, going into the details of the evening. Not missing anything his father had said to him.

Jude nodded, "is everything okay now?"

"I guess. He apologised actually, which is a first. With how I was snapping at him, I'd've expected a smack around the ear before a sorry." He laughed slightly to himself. After a brief moment of quiet, Connor spoke again, "he told me to invite you over to dinner."

"That's a good, right? He's willing to work on it," Jude assured.

"I suppose," he agreed. "So, will you? Come over for dinner, I mean. You don't have to, if you don't want -"

Jude stopped him, "I'd love to, Connor."

"Tomorrow?"

"I'll be there," he smiled and nudged his shoulder again Connor's, which in turn, made Connor smile back at him.

They sat together quietly for a while. Connor allowing Jude's presence to calm him. He was beside Jude in the couch, leaning against him with his head on his shoulder, eyes closed as Jude kept his arm safely around him. 

It had always baffled Connor, Jude's ability to calm him. No matter how he felt, Jude offered his shoulder to reassure Connor when he was stressed. He allowed himself to melt to Jude's embrace, breathing him in. 'It'll all work out,' he thought to himself. Why had he been worrying?

After a while, Connor pulled away from Jude and sat up.

"Better?" Jude asked, smiling softly.

"Thanks," he leaned over and pecked Jude's cheek.

"It's what I'm here for," he paused, "do you wanna stay a bit longer?"

"If it's okay with your moms." 

"Hang on a sec," Jude said as he pushed himself up off the couch and quickly darted out to the back garden, where Stef and Lena where listening to Callie play her guitar.

"Moms?"

"Hey love," Stef smiled, "I thought you were doing your homework."

"I was, but Connor came over and I was just wondering if he could hang out here for a while."

His mums looked at each other and agreed.

"Open door policy, bud," Lena began, "and you need to make sure your homework gets done before Monday."

Jude beamed and ran back inside to Connor, "you can stay," he confirmed happily.

"So...what d'you wanna do?"

"Math," Jude replied, rather matter-of-factly.

Connor huffed, "not what I had in mind, but...sure."

"And what did you have in mind exactly?"

Connor wiggled his eyebrows, but was met with a stern look from Jude. He raised his hands in defence, "Just kidding, I'm kidding. I meant video games, word on the street is you think you're better than me at Mario Kart. I thought maybe we could set the record straight."

Jude put his hands on his hips, "I am better than you, it's been proven...with science. C'mon," he grabbed Connor's hand and dragged him to his feet, "the sooner you help me with my homework, the sooner I can kick your butt."


	3. Chapter 3

For the past two hours, Connor had been hobbling about his room. Pacing would be a lot easier if not for the crutches he was lumbered with, still. Maybe he should change his shirt again, perhaps comb his hair the other way. What about that other pair of jeans? Should he iron his clothes? He'd never used an iron. Trying one more outfit couldn't hurt. 

He walked over to his open wardrobe and stared inside, scanning over the few shirts that were still hanging there. After a couple of minutes, he decided on the blue one and pulled it over his head. He nodded as he looked at himself in the mirror, smoothing the fabric over himself. 

Completing his ensemble, he retrieved his crutches from where he'd propped them up against the wall, and made his way to the top of the stairs. The stairs were a particularly daunting task, though only thirteen of them. He sat himself down on the top step and slid his crutches down the staircase, the set about lowering himself down to the next one, and the next one. There was no way he was risking trying to walk down as he normally would. It'd be just his luck he'd fall, hurt himself, and end up having to cancel seeing Jude. He smiled slightly as his boyfriend crossed his mind. 

As he reached the last step, he pushed himself up and checked his watch. Six 'o' clock. Jude would arrive in half an hour. He needed to go and help his father in the kitchen and set the table. 

He used the good knives and forks, the ones they kept hidden away until Christmas. Expertly, he laid the table, 'knife on the right, fork on the left' he reminded himself. As he placed the last piece down, he took a step back, proud of his work. All that was left to prepare was the dessert, which as far as he knew, only needed to be defrosted.

Ten minutes away, Jude fiddled with his hair in the bathroom. 

"Jude! I need to shower!" Mariana knocked on the door. She needed to get ready for a date.

In fairness to his sister, Jude had been in there an awfully long time, and was giving Mariana a run for her money in terms of taking forever to get ready.

"Just a minute," he called, running his fingers through his hair a couple more times, tweaking it slightly, making sure he had it just so.

Eventually, he opened the door, peering round to find a disgruntled Mariana staring at him, hands on her hips. He smiled sheepishly, "bathroom's free."

"You're wearing that tonight?" She asked as she moved past him.

Jude shuffled, "I was thinking about it, yeah."

Mariana screwed up her face and she shook her head, "go for a smarter shirt and a more casual jacket," she encouraged, closing the door behind her. 

Jude looked down at what he was wearing. He'd been going for the 'effortless' look he'd seen his sister achieve on so many occasions, but, apparently, had failed. He shrugged and wandered back into his room, throwing his shirt on to his bed as he changed into a new one. 

Once again, he looked down at his outfit, smiling this time. Mariana was right. Of course she was. Satisfied, he made his way downstairs to get the last few bits and bobs ready, his shoes, phone, and watch.

Just before he pulled his phone out of his pocket, he figured he should probably let Connor know he was on his way. He huffed a laugh as he unlocked his phone to see the mess of texts he'd been sent this morning, most of them along the lines of 'still on for dinner?' and 'are you sure?'.

'On way, be there in ten.

And with that, he was out of the door, walking the streets to the Stevens' home. He arrived five minutes earlier than Connor expected, but when he knocked on the front door, he was greeted with the biggest smile the other boy could muster.

"Hey, I know I'm early," Jude smiled back.

"I don't mind, come in," Connor stepped aside, allowing Jude through the door. His smile faulted for a moment, "you're sure you wanna do this?"

Jude rolled his eyes, if he heard that question again, it'd be once too often. Nevertheless, he thought it necessary to answer with same answer he always gave. "Of course, Connor."

Connor's smile returned and he nodded, "okay. If you're sure." He grabbed Jude by the hand and lead him through to the kitchen. "C'mon, it's nearly ready."

"What're we having?" Jude asked curiously, numerous different smells surrounding him. 

"Honestly," he laughed, "I have no idea what it's called. Something with chicken."

"Something with chicken, my favourite," Jude jived.

Their humour fell into the background after Jude's comment, as they found themselves alone in the kitchen. In the quiet, the two shared a look, soft smile and gentle eyes. In his father's absence, Connor saw the opportunity to steal a chaste kiss, a small peck on Jude's lips. He leant in, and although he had every intention of pulling away not much longer after he'd planted the kiss, to his surprise, Jude pulled him closer. 

They deepened the kiss, almost losing themselves, until Connor heard footsteps from the hall. Connor turned scarlet and jumped away from Jude as his father entered.

Jude glanced at Connor, who was looking anywhere but his father's eye, and stood up straighter. "Good evening Mr Stevens."

"Jude," Adam nodded at him, "nice to see you."

Jude looked back at Connor, who shrugged in return and motioned him to their seats. Connor collected their plates and sat just out of reach Jude's reach, unsure of exactly how much affection Adam could stand seeing between them at that moment in time. 

Adam brought his dinner over to the table and joined them, wordlessly. For a moment, Connor felt as though it would go the way of many of their other meals and continue in silence, but then Adam spoke.

"So," he began, "how are you finding Anchor Beach?"

Jude doubted Adam's interest, but he appeared to be trying, so Jude answered courteously. "It's great, definitely the best school I've been to."

"And how many is that? Schools you've been to." 

"Seven."

Adam nodded, not knowing where to go after that, "right."

When Adam didn't follow with another question, Jude decided to continue his previous answer. "And I'll be staying at Anchor Beach, I'll be graduating here, now the adoption's final."

"That's good," Adam replied, pushing his food around his plate as he thought. "So you moved around a lot then."

"More than most," Jude agreed.

"Couldn't've been easy."

Jude shrugged.

Connor glanced at Jude, and then to his father. "He's doing really great in school, dad. He's catching up with loads of classes," he said, changing the subject back to school.

Jude smiled at Connor in thanks, before Adam spoke again.

"You could do with catching up with your classes, Connor. I'm still not impressed about this summer school business."

"Sorry Dad, I'll catch up. I swear," he promised.

The rest of the dinner revolved around school. Connor constantly keeping an eye on where the conversation was headed, putting all his efforts into keeping anyone from offending anyone else.

"Since Jude's at summer school too, Lena said I could study at their house after school. Can I?"

"Hmm," Adam agreed. He looked to Jude, "bet it's odd having your mom as the vice principal, any Jude?" 

"It's actually kinda enough useful," he laughed a little.

"How did you end up with her then? Stef too?" Adam asked as an afterthought.

In all honesty, it was a question that Connor didn't know the answer to himself.

"Our social worker asked Lena if she'd take Callie for a while."

"You too?" Connor chimed in, curiosity getting the best of him.

Jude shifted in his seat. "Not at first, but I went to live with them too."

"Not at first?" Adam pushed, slightly perplexed by the new information.

"We erm, got separated for a little while," he spoke quickly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Callie erm...and I..." For a moment, he was quiet. He averted his eyes and asked, "may I be excused, Sir?"

Jude hastily stood and left the kitchen, seeking refuge in Connor's room. Closing the door behind him, he moved over to Connor's bed to sit down. 

Back downstairs, Adam directed his next question to his son. "Did I say something?"

Connor looked through the door after his boyfriend and shrugged. "I don't think so." He chewed his lip, "can I be excused too?"

"Of course."


	4. Chapter 4

Connor slowly approached his bedroom and carefully knocked on the door. When no answer came, he gently pushed the door open and poked his head around.

"Hey," he offered Jude half a smile.

"Hey," he replied, barely above a whisper.

"You okay?" Connor asked, moving to sit beside Jude.

Jude sighed, "yeah, m'fine."

"You don't look okay," Connor nudged his shoulder. "Was it something my dad said?"

Jude shook his head.

Connor leant away slightly, "was it...something I said?"

"No," he answered quickly. "It's just," he took a breath trying to put it into words, "when we were separated, me and Callie, there was a lot going on. A lot of stuff I don't like to think about. Stuff about my life before that I want to tell you...but I can't right now."

Connor wrapped his arm around Jude. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," he reassured. 

"It's not that I don't want you to know," he said again. "It's just...not really something I wanna think about, y'know."

Connor nodded and pulled Jude closer to him. Jude leant into Connor and wrapped his arms around his middle. Connor pressed a kiss to the top of Jude's head.

"Do you want to go back downstairs?" Connor asked. He felt Jude shake his head.

"Can we stay here for a while?" Jude mumbled into Connor's shirt.

Connor answered with a squeeze of Jude's shoulders and heard the other boy sigh with relief. After a while of sitting together, Connor felt Jude start to relax. His breathing evened out as he calmed himself against Connor.

Eventually, Jude sat up and wiped under his eyes. "We should get back to this 'get to know me' thing."

"If you're sure you're okay."

Jude nodded, "I'm okay."

Connor took Jude's hand and got up, "c'mon."

When the two returned to the kitchen, they found Adam, still sitting at the table. He'd cleaned up after the main meal and had his laptop out in front of him. The two boys entered the room quietly, almost unnoticed by Adam, who looked up only when he heard Jude take his seat.

Adam cleared his throat, "Jude, if I offended you, it wasn't my intention."

"It wasn't you, it was an unexpected question, it just brought some stuff back," Jude replied in an attempt to brush it off.

Adam took this at face value and returned to his computer screen, not wanting to push anything any further.

Connor brought over desert and set it down in front of Jude, "pulled out all the stops, as you can see."

Jude gave a small smile as Connor presented him with a bowl of ice cream.

With the exception of the odd quip from Connor, the rest of the meal continued in near silence, the three of them sitting at the kitchen table. As the evening drew to a close, Connor offered to walk Jude home, but as they made their leave, Adam picked up his car keys.

"It's probably best if I driver you, what with Connor's crutches," Adam nodded to his son.

He lead the boys to his car, where Jude helped Connor clamber into the backseat. Connor threw Jude an apologetic look when he accidentally caught him with on of his crutches. 

As Adam started the car, Connor moved his un-booted foot over to Jude and gently pushed him. Jude wrapped his ankle as best he could around Connor's, both slightly apprehensive in holding hands with Connor's father just centimetres away. 

About halfway into the drive, Connor reached into his pocket and took out his phone.

'So...that went well,' he typed, sending the message to Jude.

'Don't worry about it," Jude sent back with a shrug.

Connor bit the inside of his lip and cast his eyes down. Upon noticing this, Jude carefully brushed his foot against Connor's leg and offered him a smile. Jude picked his phone back up off his lap and typed out a new message.

'I'm ok.'

Connor nodded, but continued to stare at the floor of the car until they reached the Adams-Fosters residence. Despite Jude's protests, Connor insisted on scrambling out of the car after him and walking with him up to his front door, where the two stopped on the porch.

"You're sure you feel okay?" Connor prodded.

"I promise, I'm fine. Maybe we can try this again some other time," Jude suggested.

"You'd really want to do that," Connor asked doubtfully.

Jude nodded, "I think it's important. If your dad's willing to try and support this, we should try to help him. Besides, I'll be more prepared for questions next time, won't I."

Adam beeped the horn. Connor glanced back at the car, then back at Jude. 

"I'll call you later?" 

"Yeah," he watched Connor hobble down the path back to his dad's car, waving as Connor turned to look at him. 

When Connor's car was out of sight down the street, Jude let himself into the house. He closed the door behind him and leant against it for a moment, before deciding to set off in search of his sister.

Jude found Callie in her bedroom, sitting on her bed on the phone to Daphne. He knocked on the open door and wandered into the room, not too bothered to wait for her to wave him in. Heavily, he dropped himself next to her.

Callie looked down at him.

"Hang on a sec," she moved the phone against her shoulder. "Hey dude, how was your dinner?"

Jude shifted slightly, "can I talk to you?" 

Callie frowned and moved the phone back to her ear, "hey, Daphne...yeah, I have to go...okay, I'll see you tomorrow...no I'm working the morning shift...nine 'o' clock. Alright, bye." As soon as the phone touched the mattress, Callie's attention was solely on her brother. "What do you wanna talk about?" She asked, slightly concerned.

"I was wondering...Connor's dad was asking questions at dinner, about how I ended up here," Jude began tentatively.

"Okay, so what did you say?"

"I asked if I could be excused and left the room." He sighed, "I didn't know how to explain it without telling them about...y'know, where we were before...where you were." 

Callie scooted closer to Jude, "you can tell people Jude," she assured him. "I won't be mad if you wanna tell them where I was. Now whether you say why I was there is completely up to you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Looking forward to tonight's episode. Hope everyone enjoys it.


End file.
